I am a dog
I am a dog
This that new dog flow, unnh call it puppy love, puppy love
This that new dog flow, unnh
Yo open the door, I need to shit

Need to get outside and drop myself a deuce
Tear up chair cushions and pillows, and I don’t need no excuse
All the people love me, man, yeah, they tossing ‘round the word “cuddly”
Your face is scaring folks, man, they fucking call ya pugly
I’m such a Bruiser man, I’m almost a Chihuahua
Keep it all so fresh, you call me Baja
Spayed like David, can’t have no relations
Otherwise, I probably got 101 dalmatians

Getting spooked so much you call me Courage
Ain’t nobody coming inside my house, like the Purge
Talking up the ladies, you could say that I was foxxin’ the hound
Hoping to take her on an incredible journey, homeward bound
Chasing tail all day, you only chasing your own
That was a good one, so fucking gimme a bone
Yeah, they callin’ me the finest of the canine
I’m a solid ten inches……ok, 9

Changing my pad so much you think I got a time of the month
It take me that long beggin’ for a piece of your lunch
Throwing the ball, way down the hall, man, Gretchen Weiners
Leave your Gucci sandals out, I’ll take ya to the cleaners
I hear that T-R-E-A-T, you know
I’m freaking out, I’m going rabid, man, the next Cujo
See a squirrel outside, you know I go insane
A jack/poodle in the streets but in the sheets I’m like a Great Dane

All these haters tho, tryna get on my level
You mess with me, you get the same fate as Old Yeller
I’m doin’ everything, you live a year, I’m livin’ seven
And lemme tell ya, this dog ain’t goin’ to heaven
I like to google for doodles of oodles of poodles
eating noodles and strudel, it’s futile, the whole kit and caboodle
I’m blowin’ up man, might as well call me Clifford
Who you callin’ runt? Looks to me like you’re the litter

To any haters left, sayin’ I’m a nobody
Are ya sure man? They call me Mr. Peabody
You in the doghouse, I’m on top, call me Snoopy
Misunderstood, I’m the Shaggy Dog, call me Scooby
Take my tennis ball, you barking up the wrong tree
Go for kisses, get squat, just like when I pee
House-trained, no chains, pure-bred pedigree
Bitch you gettin' schooled, now you’re waiting for your pet degree

Walk in the door, owners holding up a doggy bag
Got the competition holding white flags, only thing
Faster than my rhymes is my leg when it itches
Anybody try to bite me, and you end up in stitches
I call my bitches bitches cuz they actually bitches
I call my bitches bitches cuz they actually (EVERYBODY SING)
I call my bitches bitches cuz they actually bitches
I call my bitches bitches, hey